you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
