Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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