saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
