Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
PANTIES FOUND
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