I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
