i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
