Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
