is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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