His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
