I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
