I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
