I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
