No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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