I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
