Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
