the condom got lost in my hair
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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