Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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