so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
