4 words: hood of his car
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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