I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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