I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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