hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
