That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The Olympian is in my bed
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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