I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
