I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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