it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
