Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
