As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
