I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
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Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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