sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
