I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize