it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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