She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I wish there were birth control emojis
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
