just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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