You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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