I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
