Sry I called you an 8
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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