i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
