Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
