She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
