Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
