Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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