I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize