Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
