I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
