She's JV to your varsity
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
