"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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