i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
