What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
