so that wasnt chicken after all
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
