I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
smell my finger.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
