I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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