I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
