you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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