This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
