At least make sure they are 18
Why
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
