you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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