So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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