No, you can still breathe under the balls.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
