In the future we'll all be gay
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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