Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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