So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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